Effective Date: November 1, 2024

Welcome to FTW! By accessing or using our products and services, you agree to the following terms and conditions. Please read them carefully. Or don’t.

1. Introduction

FTW ("we," "us," "our") provides products and services designed to bring the thrill of simulated drilling to your home. By purchasing and using our products, you agree to these Terms of Service ("Terms"). If you do not agree with these Terms, please discontinue use of our products.

2. Eligibility

To use our products, you must be at least 18 years old and legally able to enter into binding agreements. By using FTW products, you affirm that you meet these criteria.

3. Product Use

FTW products are designed exclusively for personal and recreational use. Any use of our products outside of their intended purpose, such as attempting to alter or misuse the device, may void warranties and release FTW from any liability. Please follow all usage instructions and guidelines for optimal and safe operation.

4. Purchasing & Payment

All purchases must be completed through our official channels. Payment terms are outlined at the point of sale, and by completing a transaction, you agree to pay the listed price, including any applicable taxes or fees. FTW reserves the right to update prices, discontinue products, or refuse sales at its discretion.

5. Shipping & Delivery

FTW is committed to timely delivery, though shipping times may vary. Estimated delivery times are provided at checkout. We are not responsible for delays due to carrier issues or unforeseen circumstances. International orders may be subject to additional customs fees and duties, which are the responsibility of the buyer.

6. Returns & Refunds

We offer a [30-day] return policy on all products, provided they are unused, undamaged, and in original packaging. To initiate a return, please contact our support team. Refunds are issued only after we receive and inspect the returned item. Shipping fees are non-refundable, and customers are responsible for return shipping costs unless the item was received damaged or defective.

7. Warranty

FTW offers a limited [one-year] warranty on all products against manufacturing defects. This warranty does not cover damage from misuse, improper maintenance, or unauthorized modifications. For warranty claims, please reach out to our support team with proof of purchase.

8. Intellectual Property

All content, branding, and designs associated with FTW are protected by intellectual property laws. You may not copy, modify, or distribute any FTW content without our written permission.

9. Limitation of Liability

FTW is not liable for any indirect, incidental, or consequential damages resulting from the use or inability to use our products. In no event will FTW's total liability exceed the amount paid for the product in question.

10. Privacy

We don’t value your privacy. Please review our Privacy Policy for information on how we collect, use, and protect your personal data. We don’t though.

11. Changes to Terms

FTW reserves the right to update or modify these Terms at any time. Changes will be effective immediately upon posting. Continued use of our products signifies your acceptance of any changes.

12. Governing Law

These Terms are governed by the laws of Blah blah blah-land. Any disputes arising from the use of FTW products will be resolved in the courts of Judge Dredd.

13. Don’t contact Us

If you have questions or concerns regarding these Terms, please don’t contact us

By using FTW's products, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agree to these Terms of Service. Thank you for choosing FTW!

14. All jokes aside. This is satire.

This site and idea was made by TLDR-Institute (with plenty of 3D work by my friend Alex). We made it as an art project to highlight just how much the oil industry keeps f*cking us and the planet we live on a daily basis. Please don’t sue us fleshlight.